Lonley.

I've made great friends in North Wales and I'm here for the duration however long that is. I love this place, I love the climbing but being injured sucks. Recently I've been grounded, torn muscle in the hip and tight everything makes even walking painful. Basically everything hurts, I can't run, I can't cycle and climbing hurts fuckloads. Last week I was sitting around the house alone as has been the general trend recently. I went for a walk in the rain around the back of Vivian Quarry. The bluebells were amazing. I got home two hours later, it was still early enough in the day and I was at a loss as for what to do. I cooked some eggs for dinner and sat at the table, tried to eat them and cried. Its hard to say and admit but it happened. I've never felt so alone in my life and I don't know why. Probably a combination of injury and change. Rich noticed when he walked into the shop the next day. He said it looked like I'd been crying. I denied it of course. Chris and Karen I think, noticed and have pretty much taken me in the last few days. It means the world to me to have people like that in my life.

Myself and Chris, a smile hides all. Photo - Richard Williams.

Its only because I feel much better now I'm comfortable saying this. One year is not long but its been enough for me to realise a lot. Its hard to move countries, leaving friends and family behind. Sure modern communication helps but I've seen my family for possibly four or five days in the last year and a bit. I missed Christmas and god knows what else in between. I think change and distance has finally caught up with me a bit and I'll deal with in time. New and exciting has changed to routine. Since I've struggled every day gets easier. Climbing provides freedom from everything. I have great friends. It was Gogarth with the Americans last week, I'm on for a painful slog to Cloggy in the morning. Joe said he'd love to be able to just walk up and have a look at it, I'm going to climb. I know life is good and I'm really lucky. But seriously get in touch, come stay, the door is always open and I'd love to see people.