Its been a manic few
weeks. What to do when feeling lost and hopeless? Buy a mountain
bike. Crash it multiple times. Ride with some great people and enjoy
the mountains in a different way. But it didn't fill the hole.
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| Trying to fill the hole on Snowdon. Photo: Llyr Hughes. |
I was in a massive
downward spiral and I couldn't see a way to stop it. Not able to
concentrate, easily distracted, annoyed, totally confused, lost and
in pain. I had the hardest conversation of my life with Paul and
Gill. With Molly the collies head in my lap and tears rolling down my
eyes I agreed to take some time off and head home to Ireland. Time to
see family and friends and just switch off. I seen my Granda, Nana,
sister, parents and closest friends. I met Cathal and Michael some
old friends from school who I've not seen in a few years but I was
like we spoke yesterday. Sitting in a small pub in the middle of no
where till 2 am drinking guinness and trying to talk over each other.
Some things never change.
I took a while but it
worked. After a week at home I picked up a book and for the first
time in months I put it down four hours later. I knew then I was
getting there.
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| Relaxing with the pets at home. |
Hanging around Dublin a
bit I met up with Eoin who's probably broken a few Irish 24hr records
since. Talking to him about injury and suddenly having to stop
running was really helpful. He was surprised I hadn't fallen apart
sooner!
I managed to catch
Calvin just before he headed of to France for two months. Clare's
retired now so the two of them have all the time in the world to
climb as much as they want and wherever they want. Its amazing how
seeing the wry grin and delight in Calvin's eyes as he talks about a
route gets you psyched to get out on rock.
Jono... Well he's Jono.
Constantly psyched. Still remains the best friend/ climbing partner
I've ever had. We've probably nearly killed each other multiple times
climbing over the years. I think alcohol poisoning could have been a
distinct possibility this time.
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| Recovery guinness taking effect. |
Back in Wales, the
heatwave struck. I've now been to Cloggy multiple times. I've climbed
classics, seen classics climbed and climbed with a classic climber!
Seeing Indian Face climbed twice in a day was terrifying.
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| Sketching up Vember as George checks Indian Face. Photo: Will Hardy. |
Vember,
curving crack and new routing with the Dawes have been great fun.
Splitting Image and following some E4's on a tight rope down the pass with Will Sim
before belaying him on Right Wall a week later. Wanting to go to the
pub but being persuaded to just fit in the top pitch of Sabre Cut to
get my "Cromlech mojo" (Will's words, not mine) back was great. Looking at new lines in the quarries and Journey to the Centre of the Earth with Mark was just good fun. Falling off at the Grochan and
backing off a route with Will Hardy, reminding myself where I think
the line is. Classics with John on the Grochan after work. Taking Mam and Dad up Snowdon. Riding the Marin trail with James and Llyr. Its been
all go and little rest. Just the way I like it.
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| "What we're doing now Brian is rock climbing, I don't know what everything else is." Johnny Dawes on an onsight first ascent mission. |
As I stretched for the
finishing hold on Bella Lugosi is Dead tonight, slightly gripped,
unfamiliar with the slickness of slate, unfit, it again confirmed to
me why I'm here. That moment, success, failure, relief. Just to push
and see what happens.
